It's hard for me to pinpoint exactly when this started. Some time after the release of the Watchmen movie. I specifically avoided reading the graphic novel before seeing the movie because I have a tendency to detest movies if I am already a fan of the source material. I hate paying money to see a movie and then hating it, so I try to go into them as fresh as possible. Then I'll be able to enjoy the movie, and I can go back and still be able to enjoy the source material. But anyway, it started some time after the release of the Watchmen movie, and has since snowballed completely out of control. I found myself impersonating Rorschach on occasion when I was e-mailing Jess from work (for example, something simple like "Out of milk, Daniel. Finished it off with breakfast this morning."), and then Jess and Holly started in on it, too, so we'd text/message/e-mail one another every now and then, impersonating Rorschach, calling each other "Daniel" and stuff. Then one day I saw this fanart and I was like "HOLY CRAP! Chick-Dan is ME!!" That connection was later boosted one day when I was standing around at work in the bank zoning out and daydreaming about being a super hero. I was suddenly struck again by the similarities between myself and Daniel Dreiberg, so I e-mailed Jess and told her that I thought I was turning into "Fat-Batman."

The entire situation escalated during my vacation in California when we were hanging out with Holly and Ellen in Shannon's house, and Ellen started texting me as Rorschach. One thing lead to another and we ended up having a Watchmen TEXTravaganza that carried on for several days. I did my best to transcribe the texts from my phone. I put them essentially in the order in which they were sent and received, so the conversation isn't exactly smooth and continuous, but it shouldn't be too hard to follow. I meant to post this shortly after we returned from our vacation, but it took me a long time to get around to transcribing all the texts. x_x;

Character Key:
Nite Owl/Dan - Me
Rorschach - Ellen
Ozimandias/Adrian - Holly
Mothman/Byron - Jess


( TEXTravaganza! )

Okay, so here's some crap that happened.

I'm like two steps away from getting fired from the bank. An important (apparently the most important) part of my job is "mystery shop scores." That's where a certain few bank customers who come in grade us on our performance and their overall banking experience. Any score below a 90% is considered an unacceptable score. Since I started working at the bank, I've only had 1 score over 90%, and most of my scores have been in the 70s or lower.

The shoppers' complaints about me have been: didn't make enough eye-contact, seems nervous, lacks confidence, looks down a lot, didn't make a positive statement, is quiet, lacks enthusiasm, etc...

After several months of bad scores, my boss finally couldn't make excuses for me anymore and had to give me a written warning. He had to pull me into his office and have a meeting about it and everything. After that, I had to go sit in the back room and cry for a half-hour or so because I felt like a useless piece of crap. I don't know what the hell they expect of me. As far as I can tell I'm being perfectly pleasant when I'm dealing with the customers, but apparently I just don't know how to interact with other human beings. I apparently exceed expectations in all other aspects of my job, but all that doesn't count for crap if I can't get 90% on mystery shops. Our branch has the lowest mystery show percentage in the entire bank, and it's all because of me.

A few days later my boss pulled me into the back room to have me do service-manager stuff, cause the service manager had the day off. So he shows me what to do, and we have a short conversation that went something like this:

Boss: ...Okay? Great. You know, there's a reason I have you back here doing this stuff.
Me: Is it 'cause I'm obsessive compulsive?
Boss: ...yes.
Me: *lol*
Boss: Well, you pay attention to details, and that's important. ...Oh, and I just wanted to say... Bravo. I've seen you with the customers lately, and you've been doing great. I can tell you're making an effort, and you wanna' do a good job, and you've been doing great. And... just so you know, about the other day... that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do as a manager. I know how much it bugs you, and you wanna' do a good job. You're really trying, and I can tell. And we really like having you hear, I mean, when you're not here...we really notice...

I thought that was really nice. I like my boss. I think he's a really nice guy. He even makes a point to give me the early shift on Wednesdays so that I can get off work in time make it to the comic book store. And I know he hates having to give me any sort of negative feedback. He knows I'm trying, and he appreciates the effort. He even notices things that my previous employers have taken to granted, like the fact that I do everyone else's little bits of paperwork for them and take up the slack when they cut corners. Or the fact that I DO NOT LEAVE MY STATION AT ALL during the day except for my lunch, while everyone else wanders off periodically through the day to get drinks and food and crap (often leaving me to run the entire teller line myself). I don't really mind doing these things, but it would probably piss me off if it weren't for the fact that my boss notices that I do it, and doesn't take it for granted. I really need to find a job that I don't hate, though. That would be nice... but I'm beginning to think that no such job exists.

My car is doing great, all except for the fact that the belt on the engine has started SQUEAKIIING! So like... I start up my car, and it goes SQUEEDL-EEDL-EEDL-EEDL-EEDL-EEE~. I've had it looked at, and no one can seem to make it stop squealing. There's nothing wrong with the belt, it just... inexplicably squeaks most of the time. It annoyed me at first, and I felt kinda' embarrassed to be toolin' down the street in this sexy-lookin' car that was making piece-of-crap car noises. People even say they hear me coming from nearly a block away because of it. But, after a couple months, it's kinda' started to grow on me. It's just one of those things that gives my car character. Eric has even dubbed him "Squealjack."

Also, I got a new phone. It's much more awesome than my old phone. Unlike my old phone, it plays mp3s, I can make custom ringtones and wallpapers for it, it has a camera, it has a full key-pad, and it has UNLIMITED TEXTING! XD I've been playing with it for the past couple days. Making ringtones is fun, and I can set the phone to play them as alarm-sounds! Much more effective for waking me up, because once my brain starts to tune one out as white-noise that I can sleep through, I can change it to a different one. Right now it's set to wake me up with "Master Exploder." The part that goes "Sorry... I DID NOT MEAN...TO BLOW YOUR MIND...BUT THAT SHIT HAPPENS TO ME... ALL THE TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMEEEEEE!!!" So it's loud and violent enough to wake me up, but at least it apologizes first, so I feel less inclined to throw it across the room....

I sleep nao.